No longer expecting

The past two weeks have been a blur. One moment we are expecting our third child, the next we are not. Miscarriage is hard. It is something that no one can prepare you for. No two experiences are alike. Very few things bring me down. This however has left me rather shaken.

More for my benefit than yours, I'm going to record some of the things I've gotten out of this trying experience.

*We are loved. The tremendous support I have received from our few family and friends that we've told has been completely unexpected. From the surprise gifts, the kind notes, the offers to babysit, the meals, the calls/texts and the visits, each has touched us. I'm so glad we are living in the place we are, close to our family, surrounded by people who love us.

*I love my children! They've given me countless hugs and have been a great distraction. The little man snuggled on the couch with me while I sobbed the day we got the horrible news. He had know idea what was going on but he knew I needed comfort. I'm so thankful for the chance I have to hug my little children each day.

*I'm thankful for to have honorable priesthood holders in my family. Receiving a priesthood blessing provided me with the comfort & strength I needed when I had so many questions and worries. My testimony has been nourished with each blessing I've received.

*I know that my Heavenly Father knows me and loves me. I'm not alone in my trials. It has been whispered to me many times recently. As I struggled with The Little Man at church mere hours before all the "excitment" started, I felt it enter my mind over and over again. While it gave me the strength to handle the current situation with love and patience, it would be what helped me keep it together in the coming week.

*I am thankful for my body Despite it's MANY imprefections. It has amazed me at how efficient my body has repaired, cleansed, and is healing its self. What a remarkable gift.

*I'm thankful for the temple and the comfort that it brings. I'm glad that through hard times the temple can be our safe haven. A place to bear our burdens and refocus.

*I'm thankful that Randy has had to work overtime the past two weeks. While he hasn't been home much, it's kept him too busy to let the experience really pull him down. Although, his lack of being around both physically and mentally has been a blessing it's also wearing us both down very much. I'm looking forward to having him home this weekend. We are in great need of some family down time together.

I don't know why we had to say good-bye before we even had the chance to say hello. But I know that my Heavenly Father has a plan for my family. We will get through this as we have so many other trials and will be stronger people because of it.